It takes a while, doesn’t it? To know who you are and what you want. I am as much an idea as I am a human being. I imagine I am creative and friendly but someone else may see me as self-indulgent and chatty. People are constantly experimenting with different versions of themselves because they’re either trying to fit in to or then equally keen to keep out. I know. I did too. To make it worse there are these metaphorical concepts of our lives. Of what we’ve studied even though it’s only a lifelong process of learning, and what we will amount to even though it’s not quantifiable, and where we’re headed even if success mostly means making the mortgage payments on time and managing monthly expenses. “Nothing in this existence but that existence,” said Rumi. “I am filled with you. Skin, blood, bone, brain and soul.” Yet, we’re living in the 21st century and nothing seems enough, especially being an ordinary human being.
I sift through Rumi’s poems, sometimes, to understand not the revered Persian poet, but myself. And in this pursuit, I find, a person other than the one juggling errands at home, and scouting for recipes online. Running a home filled with the sounds of children or baking a perfect cake kept me happy, but now when the kids have flown the nest and these gatherings are limited to a few times a year I often discover that what was once a source of joy has now become a bittersweet longing. The feeling I ought to pursue is fulfilment, some part of me that makes living in my mind a more enjoyable experience and also a less fleeting one. At the slightest disruption we turn against the mechanical, methodical lifestyle that we are so habituated to. Happiness is a transitory feeling of pleasure but fulfilment is the achievement of a goal, the satisfaction that you have done something.
Rumi with ageless wisdom, says, in these lines, “Humankind is being led along an evolving course, through this migration of intelligences, and though we seem to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefulness that directs the dream.” It’s there, underneath all the roles we are so involved with playing, and the hard work we put into our daily routines- a coveted image of ourselves that fulfils us. It may or may not be in synchronicity with who we are from a young age, but if not, then we owe it to ourselves to bring ourselves in touch with it. It could be writing prose and poetry like me, or teaching children, or kayaking in the open seas. Whatever it is, as Rumi says, “That will eventually startle us back to the truth of who we are.”

#Rumi #foodforthought #spirituality #findyourself #poetry #selfexpression