I like to think that spiritual success cannot be found by getting away from everyday life. There is no point in going to a retreat and feeling calm only to return and get riled up all over again. There’s going to be chaos every now and then. Work and responsibilities will always dominate our day, and yes, doorbells will chime as we try to meditate. There is temporary solace in escaping for a few days because a change in location only provides a breather from our mind’s pattern. It’s also absurd to wait for an ideal time to practice it in the future. Detachment is not an age-related project. Even a 99-year-old will be concerned about a rash on their greatgrandchild’s behind. It’s the way we’re made. Caution and anxiety have kept us alive. We can’t all adopt a sage’s lifestyle. My desire is to be at ease while I’m having a difficult day or while reading a post on a new, deadly virus. Mastery over one’s thoughts isn’t something an app or book can teach you. It’s a long, introspective journey of understanding the self. In order to do that we have to focus on what is relevant in our heads.

Before I began to write this article, I spent ten minutes on my phone, looking at various pairs of Adidas sports shoes I have no real interest in. The visuals often distract me from going about a task I’ve set for myself. I’ve learned that the mind jumps at every stimulus. Sometimes, it’s nice to give in to it for a bit, all the time being aware that not everything deserves my attention for more than a few minutes. I have 2816 unread emails in my inbox. Aside from a few that are important, the majority of them are from banks (either updates or warnings about fraud), online stores like Amazon (a minute-by-minute relay on the status of my inexpensive purchases) and from shops to whom I willingly gave my email address for a 10 percent discount I didn’t need. I, who like to have a clutter free desk, have a cluttered inbox. I let them pile up because the Internet is relentless. It’s like sweeping a porch in a sandstorm.

Yet, the process of ignoring this onslaught has felt like a small slice of freedom. I applied this practice to my mind. I like to think that I have 2816 thoughts I’ve learned to ignore. Some or other disturbing childhood memory and anticipated worry about the future coexists with hypothetical scenarios in my mind. My fertile imagination grows a mole on my arm out of proportion or holds mock mental debates on whether or not I should take magnesium supplements. An anxious person tends to interpret a few of these fleeting thoughts as intuition and forms correlations where none exist. We begin to assume things like: the colour blue is lucky for me or I’m going to have a great day because all the traffic lights were green on my way to the office. What we really need to do is conquer the fear of the unknown and train our minds to ignore random thoughts. The ability to remain steady is the aim of spirituality.

Exercising control over thoughts is a continuous process that requires several years of self-discipline. We all need a vent for thoughts and feelings or they overwhelm us. But are we becoming selfish by going to a therapist and giving them a one-sided version of unreliable memories? Or is there real trauma that has to be uncovered and healed? Perhaps, immersing oneself in a productive activity can help us forget non-issues far more easily than self-indulgent monologues or conversations. Are we complaining about the minutiae of everyday life or do we have a legitimate lament? Perhaps we ought to be aware of the harm we’re causing to ourselves by making much over nothing. Spirituality has to be incorporated into our daily lives, not as chants or silence but as a habit. It would serve us well to send unnecessary worries, other people’s worldviews and unsolicited advice to a recycle bin. At the same time, we ought to know that we can’t escape social interaction. Praying fervently for people or situations to change is futile. Change occurs with persistent action or as a natural transformation of circumstances. Prayer and meditation only help to alter our perspective and bide the time until it happens. The spiritual realm does not lie away from chaos. It has to be sought all the time while living in the midst of it.