We are all villains in someone’s story. This is the duality we live with. Once we accept this, we’ll stop putting ourselves through hell for being provoked or misunderstood. Sometimes there’s friction. It doesn’t work. Someone doesn’t have to be awful to justify an association that didn’t go well. Not everything is about good versus evil. Some situations play out the way they do because of a clash of ideals, hidden personalities that are revealed later, desires that remain unfulfilled and monetary expectations that could not be agreed upon. Prejudice can be a result of cultural conditioning, domestic abuse due to unresolved trauma and conflict because of opposing viewpoints. This doesn’t mean that any of these issues are acceptable but we need not analyze someone else’s behaviour. We must move on from the fact that we met or worked with someone who wasn’t right for our mental well-being. There is no need to defend our response to them. It’s only natural to react in the moment. The test of maturity is to not carry that moment forward.

Even if it’s an ongoing struggle, we ought to know that our narrative does not really matter to others. It could be that both parties are right and both also wrong. Daily rumination over perceived slights is a waste of time because most things don’t matter in comparison to life’s greater purpose. It’s possible that our heartfelt lament may end up as casual dinner table talk in someone’s home. Hence, talking about a person’s misconduct serves no purpose other than to slander their character. Many of us are so busy watching other people’s karma and remarking on it that we forget to watch our own. The psychological impact of creating discontent in our stream of consciousness can be equally damaging to our personal growth. More often than not, circumstances dictate how people see us and so different people get to see different sides of us. I may make a good employee but a terrible customer, a great friend but a distant stranger.

All of us are bound to reveal our ugly side somewhere. Certainly, someone, somewhere has inadvertently or purposely been offended by you. We must accept our personal misdemeanors instead of seeking approval for them. The person you complain to will always secretly believe their own interpretation so it’s best to keep your version to yourself. The habit of venting will only lead to a continuous stream of hateful thoughts. At some point or other, most of us are thrown into situations that bring out the worst in us. We should know that we have reached this far as a species because of our ability to cooperate. Yet, people are constantly talking about evading human contact and isolating from society as a way of self-preservation. It’s far more important to stand by each other than to like each other. The desire to be liked and appreciated can make us vengeful towards those who shun us. Even if we can’t always understand them, we must free ourselves from judging their actions. The first step towards spirituality is to be comfortable with being the villain in someone’s story yet not making them the villain in your own.